so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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