Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
