Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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