Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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