yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
