i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
