My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
