You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize