physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize