I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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