If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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