yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
