i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
