is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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