He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my being single is dangerous.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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