I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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