What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize