i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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