just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.