I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.