I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
