It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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