how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
