I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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