Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
