batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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