she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
