Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
