i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
