weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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