"it" just moved
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
