Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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