My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
