You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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