thus making me awesome and them whores
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
