The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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