do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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