she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
