The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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