he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
