So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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