I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize