Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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