They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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