At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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