Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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