sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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