Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
