Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
