Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
