Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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