Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
