So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
