Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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