He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize