Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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