Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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