I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
