I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize